Stress In The City

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

How it all started

When the author Enoch Li went through her depression, slowly the idea for her book “Stress In The City” was created.
See also my earlier post: https://www.damulu.com/2019/06/19/depression-and-stress-in-the-city/ 
Her earlier thoughts can be traced back on her blog: http://nochnoch.com/about-blog/ 
She explains her road to a complete breakdown:

“Beginning November 2009 I got physically ill, to the extent that I was in the hospital every 2-3 days, and all I could do was lie around at home with no energy to even read a book or watch TV. The pain in my head was excruciating, like a million jackhammers pounding on me.  Extending from the physical side of things, I spiraled down mentally and emotionally till I sunk into severe depression. For almost 3 years, I trudged through what seemed like never-ending darkness.
…
End of 2009, my body had enough, and everything exploded. I came to a complete breakdown.”

That let her to write an e-book “Pull yourself together – Bridging the communication gap between the depressed and those who love them.”
It is here available as a free download:
http://nochnoch.com/2015/10/10/a-hope-to-help-free-ebook-download/#.VmBIg3tPKOA

Enoch explains:

 “This inspiration for this free Ebook on depression came from the 1000+ comments to the post on our Founder’s blog, NochNoch, “10 things not to say to a depressed person”, she realized that there was a marked misunderstanding between the depressed and those who are not. Perhaps it was someone who wanted to help but did not know how, or depressed persons who could not communicate their lethargies to others. A rift ensued, fueling anger, frustration, and even hatred and despite. Having been on both sides, she decided to write about this, in the aim of elucidating her perspectives on how we could communicate with empathy and help those who needed it.”

See her blog for more details.

Reading Stress In The City

I read the book and found it fascinating. And I joked I was looking into dogerapy as an alternative.

See here part of my personal comments (edited) I sent to her:

– Your description – brutally honest – of your misery during your depression, and how you slowly came out of it, is in my opinion the best part of the book. It must give others more courage to admit, yes, this is also how they feel, they are not alone.
– Like you said, people often think getting out of the depression just needs some personal efforts, will power, blablabla. Of course that does not work.
– I was a bit “puzzled” on how, in the first part of the book, Tim does nearly not appear, me even wondering, was he with you? You were alone? The guy is an angel of patience. I would probably have given up. How did you two go through that long period? Was Tim just sharing the apartment with “a zombie”? How did he react when you were in this horrible state? That one side of the story bugged me.

Enoch replies

Her husband Tim was indeed an angel. helping her to go through it all:

“For most part it was self-loathing on my side and Tim just had to tolerate it. His biggest job was just to make sure I was alive. He would sometimes sit with me when I cried or howled or stomped in tantrums, sometimes he held me, sometimes he just was there and that was enough. He was the one who dragged me to the doctor’s, who called the taxi in the winter and drove me to ER. He was always on alert in case I called him or he had to call and check on me.”

This article talks a bit more about his experience:
“World Mental Health Day 2018: how husband helped wife fight severe depression.”
9 October 2018 by Lise Floris
“Enoch Li was diagnosed with depression in 2009. Husband Tim Coghlan tells how, with his help and through therapy, she overcame it and the relapses that followed, and the impact her illness had on him.”
Read the full story:
https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/article/2167481/world-mental-health-day-2018-how-husband-helped-wife-fight
(China: needs VPN…)

Depression and Stress in the City

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

The book of Enoch Li

First of all more about depression and Stress In The City, the book of my friend Enoch Li.
About depression, see the full article:
12 March 2019 – New hope for people who suffer from depression
By César Chelala in China Daily
https://www.chinadailyhk.com/articles/157/60/85/1552359375073.html

I quote:

According to the World Health Organization’s estimates, more than 322 million people, equivalent to 4.4% of the global population, suffer from depression worldwide. In China, depression affects 54 million people and is the leading cause of suicides, according to WHO.
Nearly 50% of all people diagnosed with depression in China are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Depression is a state of low mood which can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. Its symptoms include sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, and altered appetite and sleep. Many depressed people have feelings of dejection and hopelessness that may drive them to suicide.
China has about 23,000 psychiatrists with credentials, much fewer than Russia and the United States. This number is totally inadequate to respond to the mental health needs of the population. An immediate response would be to improve the mental health training of medical and paramedical personnel and teach them how to better recognize the cases of depression.

In her book “Stress In The City”, Enoch Li describes her personal journey battling a severe depression and how she found a way out of that difficult experience.
See here the announcement of her book in China Daily:

Enoch is back

On 17 January 2019 Enoch Li organized a cool evening to introduce herself back to the Beijing community and to present her book. She had disappeared from the Beijing scene (at least for me!) and the book explains it all. I was impressed by the large attendance and of course I bought her book right away.

Congrats for such an amazing promotional event!

The Bookworm Literary Festival

On 25 March 2019 Enoch Li was featured in The Bookworm, to present her book to a large audience.

 

Again she did a great job, introducing the concept of BEARAPY and answering the many questions from the audience.

About BEARAPY

See: http://bearapy.me

See the Corporate introduction: Bearapy Corporate Intro

More about her books in another post.

Book The Author

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

Reading Between The Wines “BOOK THE AUTHOR” Event

Reading Between The Wines organized the event Book The Author on Saturday 4 May 2019 in Blue Marlin Bar and Restaurant (Hilton Hotel Street). It called all aspiring writers, authors and book lovers to uncover and learn the secrets of successful authors that are in our own “backyard”. Twelve amazing authors from nine countries, representing literary works from genres including: self-help, non-fiction, international relations and humor came together under one roof to tell their stories and discuss topics such as:

–           How to tell a powerful story
–           Tips to get started writing a book
–           Getting past writer’s block
–           Steps to getting your book published

The event was designed to allow authors to showcase their work and inspire the next generation of writers. The featured authors discussed and shared their work as well as answered questions from and mingle with an audience of book lovers and aspiring writers.

About the Organizers

Reading Between the Wines was started on the beautiful Bahamian island of Nassau by five working women who shared a love for both reading and drinking wine. One of those women is Kayla Brown, who is currently a medical student at Peking University and has ambitiously brought her island-style book club to the great city of Beijing.

Since its inception, RBTW-Beijing has hosted eight book club events and has become popular in China’s capital. Having covered books ranging from “Orange is The New Black” to Michelle Obama’s “Becoming”, readers select a book beforehand and at each book club event discuss the book.
Web: https://andinetblc.com/listing/reading-between-the-wines/

About Gilbert and his books

Gilbert is from Ghent, Belgium, where he graduated as master in electronic engineering.
Since 1980 he has been working with China, where he spent over thirty-five years, mostly in Beijing but also in Hong Kong and in Shanghai. He is a businessman, blogger and author.
His second book “LAUGH AND GET WISER! Jokes and witty wisdom for adults”  is a collection of Anglo-Saxon humor and jokes, collected over a period of over twenty years. The best ones of the many circulating around the world. Published in 2018.
His first book “TOXIC CAPITALISM The orgy of consumerism and waste: Are we the last generation on earth?” takes a closer look at data and research on environmental issues worldwide but with a focus on China. It explains the influence of labor markets, governments, financial institutions, income inequality; it details pollution in China, and Chinese overseas investment and long-term contracts, in the energy and resources sectors. A section is dedicated to day-to-day examples of waste and quality issues, and how we can all contribute to make our planet a healthier place. Published in 2012.

The event

In “Book The Author” different authors gave their insights on:
“How to Become a Powerful Storyteller”
“The Writing Process” (Tips to getting started, overcoming writer’s block, etc.)
“Steps to getting Published” (Gilbert and others)

I was good to meet my friend and fellow author Enoch Li (http://bearapy.me/enoch-li/) again and t hear the very different stories of the diverse group of writers. See the first picture for the participating writers.
Also present was the Ambassador of The Bahamas.
Thanks go to the organizer and host Kayla and the assistance of Sabrina.
I also donated one of my books for the quiz.

My book in China Daily article

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

My book in China Daily

Finally: my book in China Daily article, published on 28 March 2019:
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/201903/28/WS5c9c7c5fa3104842260b3194_1.html
Yes, “Laugh and get wiser! Jokes and witty wisdom for adults” got featured with an introduction as supplied by me.

A guidebook for our Chinese friends

I quote:

While at a first sight the book may not be interesting to Chinese readers, due to the cultural differences, it is a nice tool for our friends to learn about typical Western humor, as well as to learn a different vocabulary. Also, for those who deal with Westerners, here in China or when abroad, they might surprise their foreign friends by serving them some jokes they can appreciate.
Most Chinese are totally unfamiliar with the Western world of jokes, they are puzzled or even shocked. They wonder why there are so many about the (“dumb”) blondes, the Irish, the Scottish, as well as the many references to domestic situations, such as between married couples, the hilarious comments from kids, and of course the many references to the human anatomy and intimacy. As it turns out, exactly those are highly rated by the readers of my book.
It is an efficient tool to get acquainted with Western society and the way people entertain each other in a relaxed atmosphere. It also helps to understand some of the American stand-up comedians who deliver jokes I did not dare to include in my book!

Choosing some sample jokes

China Daily had requested some sample jokes. Sigh. Auto-censorship has no limits these days. So this one was a “NO NO” for our prudish friends:

Lady visits the doctor
The doctor examines a lady. He tells her, “Your blood pressure, heart beat, lungs are all fine. Now let me see that cute little thing that gets you ladies into trouble more than often.”
The lady starts taking off her dress and panties.
“No no, says the doctor, I meant your tongue!”

So I had to supply the most watered-down ones. The following ones were not published:

In the bathroom
One blonde asks her friend to give her a shampoo.
Says her friend, “There is a bottle right in front of you!”
“Yes but it’s for dry hair and I just made mine wet!”

The billionaire and his wife
A sixty-years-old billionaire walks into the bar with his attractive twenty-five-years old wife.
The friend asks him, how he got her.
The billionaire: “I lied about my age.”
Friend: “You told her you were forty?”
Billionaire: “No, I said I was ninety.”

Don’t ask
Just before sleeping, a just-married asks his wife,
“Darling, did you have other lovers before me?”
No reply and a long silence. The husband whispers,
“Darling, are you sleeping?”
“No, I am still counting.”

Back from school
Johnny comes back from school and tells his mom it was a great day. They learned to make explosives.
Mom says “Schools do interesting stuff these days. So, what’s up in school tomorrow?”
Johnny: “What school?”

Wanna read the other jokes? Buy the book!
One link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H291Z61

 

How to Write a Book in The Bookworm

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

Rotaract talk

This time I gave a talk on how to write a book in The Bookworm, on 11 March 2019.
We were far over twenty people, mostly Rotaractors but also one more Rotarian and others who were interested in the topic.
This time I had nearly one hour to cover the topic and to answer many questions. A longer version than the talk in Rotary.

The Bookworm

The well-known book shop, meeting spot and restaurant in Sanlitun is the center of literary and other events in Beijing. We were lucky to basically have the whole room for us.
Rotaract meetings are now mostly held there on Monday evenings, 8 pm.
See: http://beijingbookworm.com/